In our bedroom after the war
by alma.kelmeckis
Summary: There's nothing to worry about, Leia said. But Finn couldn't help but worry. Stormpilot songfic/Song : In our bedroom after the war - Stars/Hope you'll enjoy it !


_Wake up  
Say good morning to that sleepy person lying next to you  
If there's no one there, then there's no one there  
But at least the war is over._

At 2:00 a.m., Finn couldn't sleep. He just had a nightmare, the same as always : dressed as a stormtrooper, he was running. He couldn't figure out where he was going, or why he was running. And then, he could hear a voice. Phasma. She kept saying : « Traitor. Murderer. Traitor. » Everytime, he woke up when her lightsaber hits him in the head.

Slowly, he turned on his left, trying not to make the bed creak. Poe was still here – obviously, deeply asleep. That was the only moment of the day when he seemed peaceful. He almost looked like a baby, and that thought made Finn smile a bit.

"Good morning, pal." He whispered.

Poe moved a bit, mumbling in his sleep. He turned to the other side of the bed, letting go of Finn's arm, which he was always holding like a teddy bear when he was asleep. Finn never told him that. He was afraid that Poe would feel embarassed and stop doing it. He watched him sleep a few minutes more, because seeing his quiet face was calming him down after this stressful nigthmare.

 _It's us—yes, we're back again_ _  
_ _Here to see you through, 'til the days end_ _  
_ _And if the night comes, and the night will come_ _  
_ _Well at least the war is over_

This nightmare was following Finn almost every night since he ran away from the First Order. And it became even more frightening after the day when Phasma almost killed Rose and him. Even if Phasma died, that day.

Finn couldn't figure out why he was still so afraid of the First Order. After all, they won the war. The Resistance won. Snoke and Hux were dead. Kylo Ren was gone who knows where. The Resistance and the Republic ruled the galaxy again, and there was nothing to worry about, Leia said.

But Finn couldn't believe it. After the Empire and Palpatine, it seemed like there was nothing to worry about. But the First Order came. So now that it had been destroyed, would peace last ? Finn wasn't sure about this, and the thought of a new war made him anxious. When he talked to Poe about it, he kept saying that he shouldn't be so nervous. That the future was bright. And that the war is over, right now.

 _Lift your head and look out the windo_ _w_ _  
Stay that way for the rest of the day and watch the time go  
Listen! The birds sing! Listen! The bells ring!  
All the living are dead, and the dead are all living  
The war is over and we are beginning_

He threw a glance at Poe, making sure he was still asleep. Then, he got up in silence, covered Poe's bare shoulders with the blanket, and walked to the window. The night was dark. The silence seemed loud. He could hear nothing but Poe's breath. Finn wasn't used to such a quiet atmosphere. He was trying hard to relax and enjoy the peace. He really was. But he was raised and he lived for war. He never knew anything else before he met Poe. Would he have run away if they never met ? He wasn't sure about this. But he knew that all of his life had been dedicated to war. And he was afraid that he wasn't able to do anything else. But Poe trusted him. Poe took care of him. Poe loved him. Thanks to him, Finn was feeling a little less lost.

 _Gridlock on the parkway now  
The television man is here to show you how  
The channel fades to snow, it's off to work you go_

 _But at least the war is over_

For Finn, that was the first time he was living a regular life. Living in a house, with his boyfriend and best-friend, Rey, on some planet in the galaxy. Enjoying moments of rest, finding pleasure in doing absolutely nothing. Not be forced to live with the threat of war and death and loss.

The last time he lived like that was before he was taken away from his parents. But it seemed so long ago, that Finn couldn't remember their faces anymore. All he could tell was that his mother had this soft voice, the kind of voice that could end wars, and that when she was singing, it felt like nothing could ever hurt Finn.

He turned around to look at Rey's bed. Empty.

 _She's gone, she left before you woke_ _  
_ _As you ate last night, neither of you spoke_ _  
_ _Dishes, T.V., bed, the darkness filled with dread_ _  
_ _But at least the war is over_

They had an argument last evening, as they were eating. Nothing violent, but Rey was convinced that they should look for Kylo. After the First Order was defeated, no one ever saw Ben Solo again. And Rey worried a lot about him. A lot more than Finn could actually understand. That was why every conversation about Kylo Ren ended up with screams and doors slamming.

Rey tried so hard to explain the whole thing to Finn. Poe was helping her, telling Finn about the link that Rey and Ben shared because of the Force. But that was too much for him. In his mind, Kylo was the enemy. The bad guy. He was missing ? Fine. He didn't care. He knew that Kylo would have killed him or Poe if he had the chance. I couldn't feel any empathy for him.

But Rey was stubborn. She wanted to find Kylo. She wanted to help him. To save him from the conflict inside of him. But last night, she and Finn argued a little to loudly. He assumed that she went for a walk, like she always did when she was pissed.

A noise catched his attention. He turned around roughly, but smiled when he saw Poe, sitting on the bed, looking at him. His eyes were still a little closed, he looked tired.

"Buddy ? What are you doing ?"

"Go back to bed, Poe. I'll join you in a minute."

 _Lift your head and look out the window  
Stay that way for the rest of the day and watch the time go  
Listen! The birds sing! Listen! The bells ring!  
All the living are dead, and the dead are all living  
The war is over and we are beginning_

Poe stood up and joined him. He must have seen anxiety in Finn's eyes, because he looked worried.

"Everything is fine ? Nightmares again ?"

"No… Trust me, I'm okay."

"Is it about Rey ?"

He couldn't hide anything from him. Poe shook his head and took his hand. He was looking at the window, the moon lightening his face just a bit. God, he was beautiful. Finn couldn't help but falling in love with him every single time he was by his side.

"Let her do what she has to do. If she has to look for Ben to feel peaceful, fine. She doesn't need your help, or your consent. She can do it on her own."

"But..."

"No but, buddy. You need to relax a bit, like I told you an hundred times before. Everything is fine."

In Poe's mouth, those words seemed much more meaningful.

 _We won, or we think we did_ _  
_ _When you went away, you were just a kid_ _  
_ _And if you lost it all, and you lost it  
Well, we'll still be there when your war is over_

Poe laied his head on Finn's shoulder, patting his back with his hand. Finn enfolded his arm around his waist. This simple contact between them was enough to make him feel safe. Poe was his safe space, his anchor. And Finn knew that without him, he'd still a stormtrooper, and that he would probably be gone for a long time.

"Look, buddy." Poe said,"I know I keep telling you the same old story. But you really have to believe me. The war is over. We won. We are safe. All we have to do, now, is to live an hell of a good life. You, me, BB-8, Rey, everyone. Isn't that what you want ?"

"I wasn't raised to want such a life."

"I know", Poe replied patiently, "but now, this life is yours. We have each other. And I would personally destroy who the fuck will try to hurt you. I know that it will take a long time for you to unlearn all the stormtrooper shit. But we have time."

Poe smiled at him, with this childlish hope on his face. How could Finn not believe him ? Poe was right. He really wanted to live happily ever after with him.

 _Lift your head and look out the window  
Stay that way for the rest of the day and watch the time go  
Listen! The birds sing! Listen! The bells ring!  
All the living are dead, and the dead are all living  
The war is over and we are beginning_

"This is the beginning of something new, pal. This is a new era. Without war. Maybe without the dark side, too, even if I think that the dark side will always remain. But, look : right now, everything is okay. We are okay. It must be enough."

"Not everyone got the chance to live through this."

Han. Luke. Rose. Leia. Finn could remember their face better than his parents'. Those people were part of the family he created. And they were gone.

"That's my point. Don't make their deaths pointless. They're gone for us. For our future. If we don't try hard to maintain the peace, we'll dishonor their legacy."

Poe's words were a bit rough, as often. But Finn knew he was right. At this moment, he realized that life wasn't just about war. Life is a war, in which you have to keep fighting for what you love the most. Of course, nobody taught that to Finn when he was a kid. But there was no need. Because he only had to look at Poe to know that. To know that he will always fight. Always fight for their happily ever after. He shrugged. _That sounds so cheesy_.

 _Here it comes! Here comes the first day!  
Here it comes! Here comes the first day!  
It starts up in our bedroom after the war  
After the war! After the war!_


End file.
